I am living back in one of my childhood homes...

My father is shooting me with a pellet gun,

It seems as if he wants to kill me.

I feel that I cant take anymore.

We get locked in a struggle for the gun.

Its pressed against my heart, then my kidneys, until finally I managed to get hold of it.

I consider shooting him in the head and killing him... But instead I shoot his knee and run away.

Later, he is trying to stop me from leaving the house... . . . . The contra-sexual side of us (the anima or animus) is very influenced by our early experiences with the parent of the opposite sex.

Stories and beliefs that we picked up from childhood affect our views and behavious around intimacy and love.

At the time I was living in the house from the dream, my parents separated and my dad moved out.

As a child, I experienced this as a betrayal.

My trust in men to be there for me was damaged.

This made me push love away throughout my life; in fear of getting hurt.

And I even knowingly hurt men to get 'revenge'.

The journey of forgiveness takes me deep into my relationship with my own inner masculine.

I don't need to grapple with him anymore between pushing and pulling.

My dreams guide me to where I need to work, and to what is being released. . . . As these stories come to light, we drop the baggage that we have hoarded since childhood.

Through dreaming we close chapters from the past

and turn new pages into a life of love.